Revelation and Repentance

Hello everyone! I just wanted to share what God has been placing on my heart this week, and what I have been up to. First off, my projects that I'm working on for the Create International team here in Perth are going very well. So far, all the work I have done for them has been good, and they have really liked all my work. I really feel like I have gotten over my fear of being good enough, and just letting God work through my gifts to bless this team and to help them out in this area.

This week has also been heartbreaking in some areas as well. Some of my best friends that I've made here and gotten really close too have left to go back home, and won't be back until after I leave to go home. For me this is an area that I really struggle with. I hate it when people leave and I'm still here. It is heartbreaking but I think God is using this opportunity to stretch me and watch me grow, because it forces me into a situation where I have to get to know other people and to just really blessing others by loving them. It is a challenge for an introvert like me, but I do feel that this trip has really helped me in this area and has continued to stretch me all the time. But please pray for me as I will be very sad in the next couple of weeks that I have lost the best friends that I had to come half way around the world to find.

On Thursday even, my friend Kiara, a new student coming in names Chanc and I went all the way down to Freemantle to go out to dinner. Me and Kiara had wanted to do something before she left and so we decided to go out to dinner. Everybody that we asked said they couldn't make it so we thought we might not go, but Chanc was up and willing to go so we decided to head out on the town. We took the train all the way to Freemantle had a 10 minute walk in the rain and went to Cicerello's. The number 1 place to get fish and chips. I had never had fish and chips before, so this was a new experience for me. And oddly enough, I absolutely loved it. It was so good and so much food. not to mention we got to know Chanc pretty well and really connected with him. After we ate, and sat around and talked for a while we walked along the boardwalk, because this place was right on the water. And we decided to get ice cream. Then we headed back to the train and came back. I just had so much fun on this short adventure and got to laugh a lot with friends and try new food. It was just an amazing experience and blessing that God gave to me.

Then tonight is the big subject I want to talk about. God just convicted my heart tonight in every area of my life. Tonight this lady at the base spoke about Comparison. She told her life story and how she has always been compared to other people and how she herself compared herself to others. But when we start to compare ourselves with others we begin to produce an anger towards other people and at God. And it causes us to withdraw from people and begin a separation. This often produces ungratefulness and resentment of ourselves. If we can't love ourselves, we can't truly love others. We often feel the need to protect ourselves from further hurt and that just opens a door to the enemy in our lives. When we compare ourselves to others we often reject our own selves and who God made us. God made us all with different gifts that when brought altogether in the body of Christ works beautifully together. If we compare ourselves and deject ourselves, we don't accept God's will for our lives. Sometimes this all stems from not understanding our identity in Christ but trying to find it within ourselves and others. If we are insecure in who we are and God calls us, we usually won't step out in faith because we think we are not good enough. We need to be secure in who God's created us to be, This is who I am!! It's like we are telling God "I want what they have because I don't like what you've given me" How could we say that to the creator of our lives and of this world, that his creation is imperfect. Especially since he made US in HIS image. Often comparing ourselves to others leads to greed which is idolatry because we are holding onto things in our life and putting them above God. Most of the time we don't recognize this because we justify it. It doesn't matter what anyone else says, it only matters what God says and who God says you are. We need to be grateful for the way God made us. We need to cultivate gratefulness in our lives so we will be more focused on others and not on ourselves. If we want to compare ourselves, compare your life with Christ for he is the one we should be most like. God has made us into a beautiful creation. We are one in a lifetime masterpiece. To overcome this comparison to others we need to focus on serving others and on serving Christ. Treat others as more important than yourselves and really love them by serving them. Don't come to be served, but serve. As we repent of this sin in our lives, God will bring healing and revelation and joy beyond comparison. We need to depend on God in our lives and not on ourselves or others. Above all, don't compare yourself to others, only follow after Christ everyday and be grateful that he chose to give you a life and make you one of his beautiful creations.

This message was just so convicting to me. I have struggled with this as long as I can remember. I am constantly comparing myself to others and feeling inferior to them in so many ways and just finding all the faults in my life. But this just totally opened my eyes to how I have been sinning against God by having these thoughts about myself. That I'm not beautiful, that I'm not worth anything, that everyone is better than me. God just shook me finally and said, "I love you, you are my beautiful creation, and you are priceless to me. Come to me, and I will make you whole."...... The weight of this just knocked me down. after the message they had a time of prayer and I started crying and I asked for his forgiveness of this major sin in my life, and a weight just lifted off of me. I felt so free. I know that I will probably continue to struggle with this because it came a habit in my life. But I just need to focus on Jesus and not on myself and remind myself every day that I am a "One of a kind Masterpiece". I hope that all you have gotten something out of this, because I totally did. I want everyone to know this and feel set free as I did.

But I have probably talked too long, thank you guys so much for reading and your continued support of this trip. God bless you all.